Living For Today

It's funny how what's important to you changes as you go through life. Whether it's work or school, family or friends, loving someone else or learning to love yourself.

I've spent much of my life living in the past, dwelling on what has happened to me and worrying that it could happen again. Wondering why these things keep happening and wondering if it was because of something I'd done. I got a new tattoo a couple of months ago. It's on my right foot, in my own handwriting. It says "Let go... It will be okay." I've been trying, ever since I got that tattoo, to live by what I, in essence, wrote on my own body as a reminder.

Let go. Let go of the pain. Let go of the past. Let go of the people who are holding me back. Let go of the fear. Let go of the reasons I have for not doing the things I've always wanted to do. Just go out there and do it. Have fun. Be selfish. Because it's the time of my life when I can do all of those things. So just do it!

It's harder than it sounds when I've spent so many years doing the opposite. Every day presents a new challenge, a new reason to give up and go back to the way I used to be. But every day I fight for what I want. Every day I fight for the happiness I deserve. And every day I remind myself that everything is going to be okay. I can't live my life the way other people want me to live it.

I can't worry about wondering who is going to disapprove of my latest decision. It's about time I took control of my own life and my own decisions and do exactly what I want. I love my friends. I love my family. But for most of my life, I've been living the way someone else wanted me to live and I wasn't truly happy.

It's time for my life to be my own adventure. And that's what I want. Adventure. I want to be able to look back on my life in ten years and know that I didn't waste my 20s. I will be able to look back at all of the cool things I did and say "I made the most of it." Because most of the last ten years of my life has been spent worrying about other people and what was best for them. But now it's time to worry about what is best for me.

I am going to live each day as a new adventure. No past. Just today. Because I deserve my dreams.

"Let's make this fleeting moment last forever. So, tell me what you're waiting for? I'm gonna keep it frozen here forever, There's no regretting anymore... I know what it feels like, come on make me feel alive!" - Krewella