My issues define me. I wish this was not the case and I'm trying every day for that to change, but it's hard. When I look around at the cycle of my life that has been repeating over and over and the common factor in all of these situations is me, it's hard to look past that. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Everyone has those moments when they feel isolated and alone. Everyone has a demon on their shoulder and skeletons in their closet but when those skeletons are creeping out of the closet and affecting every day life, something has to change. The question is, what? Is it truly possible for a person to realize that the problems in their life are on their own shoulders and no one else's and that it's time to make a change and then, BAM, they do it?
Throughout my life and the series of circumstances that have created the previously mentioned issues, I've made some fairly significant life changes. The people who see me through rose-colered glasses like to say I've overcome challenges. But I can't say I've overcome them when they are always with me. They are always there, nudging me and reminding me why. Why I can't trust, why I'm alone, why I'm crazy, why I should stay away from people who might cause me to feel. I have a million reasons why I can't do a million things and plenty of affirmations from my past to back them up.
I know it's time to look into the future. But how do I make the changes I need to make? How do I make sure that when I'm ready to move on from this place in my life, that I won't be bringing my reasons along with me?
"You see, I'm trying to find my place, but it might not be here where I feel safe. We all learn to make mistakes and run from them with no direction..." - Paramore
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